The Absurdity Of The Pro Bowl, In Three Starting Lineups

With all Broncos and Panthers focused on a far more important game, and a massive amount of original Pro Bowlers withdrawing (including, to no surprise, every single Patriot), take a look at the lineup you could field from just those players, and then compare it to those of the teams that were drafted from the remaining players.

All-Withdrawal Team Team Rice Team Irvin
QB Cam Newton QB Eli Manning QB Russell Wilson
RB Jonathan Stewart RB Adrian Peterson RB Todd Gurley
WR Demaryius Thomas RB Doug Martin WR AJ Green
WR Antonio Brown WR Odell Beckham, Jr. WR Julio Jones
WR  Brandon Marshall WR TY Hilton WR DeAndre Hopkins
TE Rob Gronkowski TE Travis Kelce TE Tyler Eifert
LT Trent Williams LT Joe Thomas LT Tyron Smith
LG Mike Iupati LG Logan Mankins LG Zack Martin
C Ryan Kalil C Nick Mangold C Travis Frederick
RG Trai Turner RG Richie Incognito RG Marshal Yanda
RT Jason Peters RT Joe Staley RT Andrew Whitworth
DL JJ Watt DE Everson Griffen DE Michael Bennett
DL Kawann Short DT Gerald McCoy DT Geno Atkins
OLB Von Miller DE Aaron Donald DT Calais Campbell
ILB Luke Kuechly OLB Elvis Dumervil DE Carlos Dunlap
ILB Thomas Davis ILB Bobby Wagner SLB Anthony Barr
OLB Justin Houston ILB Clay Matthews MLB NaVorro Bowman
SS Kam Chancellor OLB Khalil Mack WLB Lavonte David
FS Earl Thomas SS Charles Woodson SS Reshad Jones
CB Chris Harris, Jr. FS Eric Berry FS Harrison Smith
CB Aqib Talib CB Vontae Davis CB Richard Sherman
CB Josh Norman CB Marcus Peters CB Desmond Trufant

The only possible weakness that the All-Withdrawal Team has is having to play in nickel defense due to the lack of defensive linemen (I didn’t include Muhammad Wilkerson as he’s one of the few players that legitimately can’t play due to injury).  But other than that, the defense is superior, and while most of the offensive positions are comparable, the All-Withdrawal Team has by far the best quarterback, helped by the fact that four other quarterbacks pulled out as well (Aaron Rodgers, Ben Roethlisberger, Carson Palmer, and of course Tom Brady).

Despite all this, while the players don’t like actually playing in the Pro Bowl, but they do like getting a trip to Hawaii.  Meanwhile, the league office is still able to generate some revenue by televising the event.  Sadly, the only thing that might kill the Pro Bowl game itself is if one player steps the wrong way in a non-contact move that causes an ACL tear.